A letter to people that email us

So, recently a PR person kindly emailed us and asked if we could tell them a bit more about our website and how we like to be sent music (or words to that affect). It was a good question. We wrote this response and then thought we might as well just post it here.

Our reply:

Thanks for the email. To be honest, I’d love it if this blog was a hobby but alas that time has long since passed. Nowadays SGTMT is a distant afterthought, somewhere between ‘I need to buy the kids new shoes’ and ‘crumbs, it’s late and I’m not sure I can remember how to spell my own name anymore’. Mixed in with that is the dawning realisation that ‘gee, Spurs really are awful for all time, even Potuccino can’t change that’.

Right, what did you ask? Oh yeah. Ok.

Send us soundclouds or utubes. Anymore clicks than that and my blood pressure rises.

We won’t write about has-beens or 20th anniversary re-releases (well, not normally).

We hate country, or anything that is actually country that’s trying to be something else. Or, for that matter, anything that patently isn’t country but stupidly leaves us to believe it is. For instance, if you start your email ‘Album X, recorded in Nashville…’ we will automatically delete. I know, it doesn’t make sense but in a distant place in the recesses of my brian (I know that’s not how you spell brain but it’s late and it seemed funny) Nashville is a dusty, dull, turgid, brown place. Everything is brown, actually grey-ish brown, and anything that comes from there is sickeningly dull country. Country, country, country. Bored, bored, bored. Vomit, vomit, vomit.

We have other contributors but I wouldn’t email them if I were you. Don’t ask why.

Send us new artists. Preferably one’s with fascinating names. We always read those emails. Particularly band / artist names that somehow include some sort of wild animal, that always seems to affect us. Any band name that is all capital letters with S P A C E S between each letter will be deleted.

We have a soft spot for artists from Scotland but a hard spot (that doesn’t work I know) for artists from Swindon. For obvious reasons.

Er? What else can we add?

Please don’t email us more than once about the same song / press release / whateva. We don’t need reminder emails. I don’t owe you money so don’t send me a reminder.

Please don’t invite us to be on the guest list for your concert in New York. I mean, if you wanna fly us over there then sure, we can talk. I guess though that probably ain’t going to happen. Having said that, there was this one PR dude he offered to fly us to Paris and put us up in a hotel BUT we had to write about No Doubt. Remember them? No Doubt. Must have been a joke or summat.

Don’t claim your artist is the next Daft Punk, Bob Dylan, Nirvana etc. The comparison does no-one any favours.

Totally unrelated. A song we like at the moment by one of their artists (the PR company in question):